


They have crushed the heart that's inside you (but this does not define you)

by Miss_Vanderwaal



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: F/F, Season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 23:32:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9407672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Vanderwaal/pseuds/Miss_Vanderwaal
Summary: Hanna and Mona are side by side in Radley's backyard watching the stars.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I've always wondered what Hanna's first couple of visits to Mona would've been like. In fact, it's really disappointing to me that the first Radley scene that we have between Hanna and Mona takes place at least two weeks after the actual first visit. Anyway, that's the context for this story.
> 
> The title was adapted from Know Who You Are, which is part of Moana's soundtrack. 
> 
> Actually, if you haven't already watched Moana, GO WATCH IT. It's a fantastic movie on its on, but the second to the last scene reminds me so much of Mona's story on PLL (and why not say Charlotte's, too?) that I don't even have words. It's just beautiful.

   Hanna couldn’t draw her eyes away from the slightly starry sky even if she wanted to – which she truly didn’t. Being lay down over a blanket, the immensity of a darkening-by-the-minute ton of blue was the only thing she could focus on.

   It was a warm late afternoon. They were sort of breaking the rules, they weren’t supposed to be out there, in the backyard, while all the other patients were having dinner; but Eddie Lamb, who had become something close to a friend of Hanna’s in the past few days, had been the one to give them permission – and the blanket, for that matter – with the subtle smile of an accomplice curving his lips.

   Mona, lay at Hanna’s right side, delicately grabbed her hand. Hanna closed her eyes and responded affectionally to the touch, feeling the bonds that tied her and the brunette together being slowly restored.

   She instantly remembered what Mona had said just minutes earlier. _Do you wanna go see the stars with me?_ It had been the first time the brunette talked ever since her fall, that had happened nine days ago.

   Then, Hanna remembered what she had said to Mona last Saturday, during her first visit. _You could’ve told me how much it bothered you. We could’ve gotten that bitch expelled for good; you, me and all the other kids she used to bully. And then none of this would’ve started. But you chose to suffer with your mouth shut, alone. That is why you’re not a genious like you told Spencer you were._ She had called Mona stupid, directly and indirectly, and the second the six-letter word slipped from her lips, it hurt. And now she wished she could take the insult back, more than anything she had ever wished to take back.

   Hanna knew that, although she feared that Mona hadn’t trusted her enough back then to tell her all about Alison’s harassment, she shouldn’t judge her. Maybe Mona really did think she had everything under control until… it all got warnless out of control inside of her. Either way, the brunette was a victim (that had made other victims posteriorly, but still).

\- I’m so sorry I missed the signs, Mon – Hanna stated almost in a whisper, brushing her thumb against the back of the girl’s hand. She was sure there had been signs.

   Mona turned to the blonde and perhaps that was the sanest look in her eyes in a long while. Timidly, she got a little closer to Hanna and the side of her head touched the blonde’s shoulder. It seemed like she wanted to verbalize something once again, to let Hanna know that it hadn't been her fault. Silence lingered around them for a few more moments, though.

\- There are still things going on with me – the brunette confessed, practically in a whisper as well and slowly as if she was still learning how to put words together –, but I don’t know what they are.

   Hanna carefully eyed the girl that she still ventured calling a friend.

\- You don’t need to know what they are – she stated smoothly. The certainty in her tone was surprising herself, even. – You’re being medicated so they’ll eventually go away.

\- That’s not enough! – Mona replied with a bit more energy. – I do need to know what they are. I need to know why Alison had so much power over me, why I was so weak, why I let her run my life like that. I need to know what happened inside my brain, so I can prevent it from happening to other people.

   There was a brief pause in the middle of that last sentence and suddenly a short gasp got caught up in Hanna’s throat. She certainly didn’t think such justification would’ve ended up where it had.

\- And, with that, you’re saying…? – the blonde instigated, although she already knew the answer.

\- That I wanna be a psychiatrist.

   The word felt like a breath of fresh air to Hanna - and seemingly to Mona as well; it was as if there was a little voice inside the blonde’s mind whispering _the future looks bright ahead_.

\- It’s not really hell in here – Mona added, nonchalantly –, and I like Eddie, but I wanna do something so fewer and fewer people will have to actually end up here.

   Hanna smiled. It was a genuine motive.

\- Plus – the brunette continued, in a warmer tone –, whenever I get out of here, I wanna make you proud of me.

   When Mona concluded, she looked up at Hanna, allowing her lips to curve into a small smile, as if, suddenly, what the blonde thought of her was massively important.

   Hanna’s eyes started tearing up and she put her arms around Mona, in spite of herself.

\- Oh, I _am_ proud of you.

   The words got out incredibly easily, but Hanna wasn’t sure what she was proud of about Mona. She was proud of _something,_ though. Also, she knew that she wasn’t holding her former enemy; she was holding her crushed-hearted friend and said injury didn’t difine her.

**Author's Note:**

> A small addendum:
> 
> Even though Mona looks incredibly good as a political science major, I really don't like it as a career for her. It implies that she will forever be controlling things/people, and, as I firmly believe in her redemption, that idea is nothing but nauseating to me.
> 
> I've always dreamed that she would end up being a psychiatrist. It would've been the perfect way for her to redeem herself, in my opinion. And, once again, I've been disappointed.


End file.
